Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Life is Short. Have an Affair.


A controversial online dating service has provoked the latest nationwide furore, when two nights ago the following advertisement was screened for the first time on Australian television:



AshleyMadison.com has already stirred commotion in the Unites States, having one of their provocative ads rejected for a time slot in last year’s official Super Bowl program. The website (assisting over five and a half million users to date) pledges to unite married men and women for discreet, extramarital affairs, shoving down our throats a hoard of miserable statistics, openly condemning the “myth of monogamy” and allegedly shredding apart families, and crumbling away the sacred institution of marriage. Now there is little doubt that one will go without Ashley Madison to pursue forbidden liaisons and indulge in illicit intimacies outside of their marriages. There is little doubt also that many people will suffer no qualms about taking the opportunity to cash in on the pain and devastation of others. What is disturbing is not that there is a service that provides an open route to adultery, but rather that there is one that openly encourages it.

Most of us can identify with the tremendous hurt inflicted by infidelity, the same way we can equally understand the often staggering temptations of straying. Monogamy may not be embedded in our DNA, but it certainly is embedded in the constructions of our morality, and the establishment of Western society. The value of monogamy of course varies in different cultures where, for example, the alleged affairs of French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy met with little more than the apathetic shrug of the shoulders from French citizens. In comparison to the excessive coverage on Bill Clinton, Mel Gibson and Tiger Woods’ extramarital rendezvous, it remains clear that according to Western constructs, the strength of modern families and marriages depend largely upon the faithfulness between committed couples.

Given the overwhelming statistics, there are many of us who reject the notion of monogamy, and based on very understandable grounds. What is rather unsettling is that while certain set values remain firmly intact, people are condoning dishonesty, disrespect and potential destruction to the lives of those we’re supposed to love. To me, it seems simple enough. If one’s partner has a certain expectation, regardless of whether it may be a product of constructed discourses of normative relationships, the honourable options are either to adhere, or to leave.

15 comments:

  1. woah. Heard about this but never in a million years thought it would grow to such a magnitude as to have full out advertisements. Incredible.

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  2. That is both sad and sick. Nothing is sacred anymore.

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  3. Advertisements.

    I have always taken the approach that everyone has the right to live their own life. But advertisements for services so royally disgusting? It really...absolutely makes my skin crawl.

    But, I will defend to the end their right to buy advertising and speak free words. Free market, free speech, free choice.

    Personally, children or not, I would divorce my husband if he cheated on me. Luckily, I never have to worry about that--I picked well. But I wouldn't stand for such deceit.

    Ok. Wow. That IS raw.

    Michele
    Southern City Mysteries

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  4. Well, I feel totally out of it. I'd never heard of Ashley Madison and, yes, I like in the States.

    Helen
    Straight From Hel

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  5. I'll add I had never heard of this either...

    Michele
    Southern City Mysteries

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  6. ive heard about this before.. and it saddens me that we as a culture have become so "ok" with cheating.
    i will admit that i cheated on my husband and he stayed with me... (we have since divorsed) and I have also sworn to myself that I will never do it again.. no matter how unhappy i am in a relationship.
    but i have been on both sides of this.. the cheater... the cheatee.. and the mistress.. i am saying i am proud of these but i know the effects of all of this... and its sad that we have a way of being all of them so easily now adays... what are our children going to think as they grow up and see sites like this becomeing more and more popular?
    Its sites like this that make me scared to fall in love with someone whole heart and soul.. for fear that they might see how easy it can be to cheat... and go and do it.

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  7. "If one’s partner has a certain expectation, regardless of whether it may be a product of constructed discourses of normative relationships, the honourable options are either to adhere, or to leave."

    word :)

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  8. To each their own, I guess. But how do you expect to find something true and honest in your life if you can't be true and honest with everyone in it?

    Great write up.

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  9. Holy crap! *shakes head* I'm amazed this is 'Ok'. I'm newly married...I must be in newlywed phase or something because even watching the commercial made my heart clutch. So sad. As always, great post.

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  10. I haven't heard of this particular organization, but I did hear about one that will help philanderers with alibis. For a fee, you arrange to have them call your spouse at a particular time and deliver a message or they could field calls from the spouse and deliver the alibi.

    Some enterprising people in this world, I'll say that much!

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  11. I've never heard of this "dating" service either...I think if one wants to cheat one will find a way. If one chooses to be faithful they will reap the benefits of that kind of life. I've been married for twenty four years and a few weeks. We were married at 20 and 23. We've had our ups and downs, but have been faithful...we keep our marriage young by trying new things. We bought a Harley a few weeks ago...it's like we are dating again. We leave for a few hours together, just riding...

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  12. Sensationalism at its finest.

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  13. I have heard about this before, and every time I learn more about it I get more and more repulsed! I can't believe that someone would make a business that virtually destroyed marriages and families. I really hope this does not become normal to see things like this on television. It makes me worry about the future...

    great post! I am now following youu :)

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  14. The concept is despicable in itself, but that commercial is so ridiculous. It's like they're rushing to the bed because presumably they've got to hurry up before their spouse gets home. Weird.

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  15. I wonder if those people who created this site had serious parental issues.


    Naughty, naughty! They should be shot.

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