Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Ugly People Need Not Apply

For those of us seeking a quick ego boost – steer away from

The elite online dating service echoes the sweet melodies of unmitigated eugenics, vowing to protect gorgeous men and women from the lesser attractive populace. Potential members first must apply with a photo and a brief profile. They then must endure the next 48 hours while existing members cast their votes to determine whether or not the applicant in question will be admitted into their exclusive community. The voting system is justly democratic, and members rate upon a highly sophisticated scale, selecting from the following values: ‘Yes, definitely’, ‘Hmm yes, OK’, ‘Hmm no, not really’ and ‘NO definitely NOT’. The majority vote is final, and individuals who fail to impress are promptly rejected. These applicants must then come to terms with their supposed inadequacies, and the site’s creators have reported various death threats from disgruntled hopefuls. Nevertheless, regular people can browse through registered profiles and photographs – to look but not touch – pressing their noses up against their screens like a child peering into a candy shop. Members can enjoy benefits such as invitations to glamorous parties, approaches by leading film and television companies, potential contracts from top modelling agencies and career opportunities through partner businesses. But most importantly, the website dedicates itself to the noble cause of bringing two attractive people together. Since attractive men and women apparently earn 12% more money than their plainer counterparts, and are thought to be more successful, intelligent and employable, it’s no wonder that these exceptional specimens of the human race wish to stick together and create more successful, intelligent and employable offspring.

What’s that? Laughter? We may decide to mock the seemingly ridiculous quirks of our beauty-obsessed society, but I wonder – how many of you now will be tempted to see if you qualify?


  1. Yeah right not me, beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder anyway. I've never found traditional so called beauty attractive. I find perfection boring.

  2. Here is another that will never ever be trying to find out why? because I know I am sexy and beautiful I know that I am a hunk and girls swoon over me me. How do I know the guy who lives behind my bathroom mirror tells me so every morning. Ha Ha Another great story and blog

  3. It would be amusing to see if I qualified but I don't think I could stomach the cold blooded selfishness of it all. And obsessing about my looks is not my style. Don't get me wrong, I like to look nice as much as the next woman, but once I've dressed and applied makeup I walk out the door and don't think about it anymore. There are far too many other more important things to think about.


  4. I'm sooo competitive that I had a hard time getting all the way through your post without jumping over to take a closer look at the "beautiful people" but...then I remembered I'm 50 and there is probably a cut off line...29 perhaps. (I can't say I'm 50 without thinking of Molly Shannon, and now Betty White - if you caught SNL last Saturday night)

    great post very appealing blog you have here! and thank you for saving my "woe is me" ass. you can only lick your wounds for so long!

    Monkey ME

  5. Hey, thanks for commenting on my blog. I love yours - so informative and interesting.

    I haven't written any psych articles yet, I am doing some research at the moment about the role of disabled people in fashion (or lack of) as I work with lots of disabled people through my psych degree.

    Lauren Loves...

  6. hahaha! No way. Ugh. Makes me want to point and laugh. PS: I'm about 50 pages into 'Cleave'. It's fantastic. It's practically just 'telling' the who way through, but brilliantly done.

  7. Thanks for your comments on my blog.

    I'm returning the sentiment - you have a great blog... and another follower :0)

  8. Not a chance. For one they seem to have overlooked the one thing that counts above all else - heart.

    Beauty fades but the heart remains...

    I wouldn't want to be around anyone that searched me out on looks alone. As far as I'm concerned they would have overlooked the best of who I am, a spirited, compassionate and unique individual. (Hugs)Indigo

    1. " As far as I'm concerned they would have overlooked the best of who I am" That is so beautifully said. I agree.

  9. This is such an interesting post! I had no ideas websites like this existed...I would be wayyy to intimidated to apply. ahhh! All those parties and glamorous events

  10. I'm sure I wouldn't qualify, but that picture sure is yummy :)

  11. Thanks for stopping by my blog and offering your kind words and the lovely poem. I'm sure I will be struggling for a while. Again, thanks...

  12. Whisper it, but I once uploaded my picture to HotOrNot - just out of curiosity, of course.

    Two weeks and a 4/10 score later, I took it down and told myself that I didn't care anyway - so I think I'll wish the beautifuls the very best, but leave them to their own devices. :)

  13. Hahah - no thanks! I'd rather not know what they think of me :)

    Thanks for visiting my blog. Love yours as well! Hope to see you back again soon.


  14. oh wow. that's terrible! haha.

    i am now a new follower. follow me too?

  15. I love your blog, it's so interesting.

    I am a new follower, would love for you to follow mine :)


  16. I'm so tempted to give it a try and see where I fit in but the funny thing is, even those who think they're hot may be shocked to find out that they too may be rejected by this website by not being hot enough.

    You know what this reminds me of? Nazi Germany. Hitler wants to protect the blond, fair-skinned, ideal Aryan race from intermixing with darker, inferior, more threatening races because they feel that the Aryan race will breed a race of super-strong, super-intelligent humans who will conquer the world and lead it to glory. He will do anything to eliminate the weak and unattractive from the beautiful and perfect. Maybe it's a conspiracy by a new form of underground Nazi group who's trying to create a new race of beautiful people to take over the world...... *suspenseful music*